Dead Bond Girls and STDs

by Tamra Artelia Martin

So I saw the Bond film Skyfall at the dollar theater a couple of days ago. (Yes, I know it came out on DVD, but I'd rather pay $2 to see it at the cheap theater on a big screen.) Spoiler Alert or Not, Beware. One of the Bond Girls dies.

Then I realized that Bond has sex with a Bond Girl at least once or twice in each movie varying anywhere between 1-2 girls. Later, one of those Bond Girls always dies tragically or disappears forever. Now, this could be a scriptwriter's joke (or the author's, since the series started with books I have no time to read) saying any girl who gets frisky with Bond dies.

Bond had sex twice (almost three times, but the black Bond Girl had sense enough to say no. Kudos for her.) in Skyfall. The odds for these girls are not good, but it made me think of a Saturday Night Live skit I saw years ago when they made fun of Bond and the STDs he'd have from all the sex he loves promoting. I can't find the video, but if you do, watch it. Instead, I found the script. So worth reading!

SNL Bond STD Skit
http://snltranscripts.jt.org/99/99ebond.phtml

After this came to memory, I realized the fate of Bond Girls is not really a good thing. You either (1) die a tragic and memorable death after having sex with the most popular spy ever, (2) earn an STD that's memorable each day after you've had sex with the most popular spy ever, or (3) get off lucky and disappear from the Bond franchise forever with your legs closed and life in tact when you refuse the most popular spy ever.

Let's see. What would I choose? It's so hard (Take that as you will)! Guess it's good to think about precautions and aftermath as we approach Valentine's Day.

Bye Chai,
Tamra