by Sherard Harrington
Ok, so I live with three girls, an extra guy, and we all only have one bathroom to share. (Welcome to Boston.) We go through toilet paper like mosquito spray out in the Everglades. I get that. But really, what excuse do we have for buying cheap toilet paper?
Quote me on this, but be aware that I’ve adopted this concept from somewhere else—the two things in life you should always splurge on are toilet paper and underwear. If it’s going near your privates, it better have passed some quality inspections.
I freely admit to not having lady parts, and so I can probably use some schooling here, but why should it take more than two or three squares of high quality toilet paper to get the job done? Maybe four-six if you wipe twice. But when you’ve got toilet paper you can see through, how could you not use 8, 10, 12+ squares, and still somehow continue to feel unclean? But of course, the role is so thin, they’ve wrapped more around the cardboard, so it seems to take even longer to finish it? Like, whose idea was that?
People who hate their private parts. That’s who.
You know what? Treat your poonanner. (I don’t know whether that refers to the front, the back, the middle...frankly, I find a map of Africa less complicated.) Treat your butt, guys. (Simple, am I right?) Go for the good stuff. You’ll thank me.
And, you’re welcome.
No comments:
Post a Comment